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We have just returned from two days at Legoland in Billund.  Theme parks are not my happy place: crowds of children, queues and dubious food. Throw in some large novelty creatures and weirdly dramatic music and I’m out.

Here are my tips for surviving the experience.

1. Consider a different holiday: Fiji, Spain, the Fleurieu Peninsula – there are so many places you can go with children.  Why a theme park?  Our kids have formed lifelong friendships over the summer at Goolwa Beach.  Not a Mickey Mouse or roller coaster in sight.

2. If that fails, go to Denmark.  Why?  Because everything is nicer there.  Legoland Billund is your best chance of cool design with a sense of humour and a friendly, safe environment.  You can fly there from London Heathrow in less than two hours (not so handy from Australia unfortunately).  Japan probably does amazing, clever theme parks too.  I feel like I don’t need to test that out, but would love to hear if you’ve been to any.

3.  Stay at the Legoland Hotel.  It is more pleasant to walk through to Legoland than battle the traffic and carpark.  The Adventure Rooms are a joy for kids and you can cope for one or two nights.  The restaurant buffet meals are serviceable; and there is a nice terrace with a garden and playground.   It’s quite civilised, if you go at the right time of year (see below).

4.  Go mid-week and avoid July and August.  We went in July because don’t ask, and faced crowds and 30 degree heat.  This is not ideal and I do not recommend.

5.  If something went wrong and you’re going in peak season, buy a Q Bot.  This helps with the queue scenario.  Then you’re off: all the rides you can stomach.  Woo hoo!

6.  Lego House:  exit Legoland as soon as possible and go here.  It’s superb.  Opened in September 2017, it’s a large, airy building dedicated to Lego and play.  There are jaw-dropping installations including a tree which took 24,000 hours to build. It’s all highly interactive. The lower ground has vintage sets and the history of Lego, which is like a business masterclass.

7. Eat at Lego House. There are restaurants at ground level with good coffee and healthy snacks, and Le Gourmet for a proper lunch.

8. Also in Billund: Lego headquarters is opening (part in 2019 and) in 2021; a tour of this would be fascinating. And if soft toys appeal, the Teddy Bear Art Museum opened in May 2018.

9. Off-topic, but my sister put me onto the IT CC cream, which has been a revelation. It replaces seven products (sunscreen, moisturiser, base, foundation, concealer, illuminator). It’s amazing! Perfect for travel.

10. Finally, have a recovery trip planned. We’re off to Kefalonia tomorrow for some sun, surf and meze. On that note, I’d better start packing!

What is your favourite theme park (if such a thing is possible)?

I love choosing holiday reads: books that relate to the destination, small, portable books and fast-paced crime thrillers for the flight.  Here are 5 current favourites:

Crime

The Death of Mrs Westaway by Ruth Ware

Hal is a young tarot-card reader and receives a large inheritance.  She goes to Cornwall – a large creepy house a la Manderley in Rebecca – and meets the family, but realises it’s a mistake and she’s not the real heir.  Hal is a sympathetic protagonist, and the mysteries kept me turning the page: why is she named in the will?  What is the family hiding?  I loved the settings of Brighton and Cornwall.  A great, twisty plot and fun read.

More crime:

Dark Pines by Will Dean – Scandi noir with an interesting, deaf female journalist Tuva – the start of a series which I’m excited about!

Thirteen by Steve Cavanagh – my go-to author for smart legal thrillers.  This is the fourth in the Eddie Flynn series and I think the best so far.  Un-putdownable.

The Commissario Brunetti series by Donna Leon – if you’re lucky enough to be travelling to Venice

The Detective Armand Gamache series by Louise Penny – for a Canadian adventure.

Small Books

Crudo by Olivia Laing

A tour de force. Kathy, fiercely independent, is getting married.  She describes this time of change with honesty and wit: she has doubts, fears becoming mellow, loves her husband but fights and screams at him too.  Laing juxtaposes this with world events of 2017.   The idea that we fret about climate change but at the same time eat crab for dinner resonates – Laing has spoken about Twitter and the way we switch between the trivial and the unbearably significant.  This book is extraordinary, on point and fun.  It will keep you on your toes.  A must-read.

More short books:

The Passion by Jeanette Winterson: a perfect gem, set in Bolougne and Venice during the Napoleonic wars.

Moonstone by Sjón: a knockout.  Beautiful, spare story of a boy’s life in 1918 Reykjavík.

Beach Read

The End by Fernanda Torres, translated by Alison Entrekin

Hedonistic.  The story of five old men in Rio reflecting on their friendships and approaching deaths.  It’s narrated by each in turn .  I enjoyed Torres’ style and humour.  The men feel real, if larger than life, and it’s thought-provoking about age and mortality.  Also, gorgeous cover and small book.  Love it!

Another beach read:

Less by Andrew Sean Greer: a comic novel about a writer who travels the world to avoid his ex-boyfriend’s wedding, this won the 2018 Pulitzer prize.  Amanda loved it more than I did when we discussed it on the podcast, but we both agreed it would be a great holiday read.

Non-Fiction

The Riviera Set by Mary S. Lovell

This was recommended to me by Laura Kroetsch (former Adelaide Writers’ Week director) who always has the best book tips!  It’s the story of an Art Deco villa on the Côte d’Azur and the people who stayed there from the 1920s to the 1960s, including Winston Churchill, Gianni Agnelli and Rita Hayworth.  It sounds fabulous and is in my suitcase for our holiday next week.

More non-fiction:

Mythos by Stephen Fry: superb, especially as an audio-book, narrated by Stephen Fry himself.  The stories are wonderful and highly entertaining.  With children aged around 12 and up, this would be great for a road-trip!

New Release vs Classic

The Odyssey by Homer, translated by Emily Wilson

Not an obvious holiday choice, but the poetic form is so lively and readable that it’s a page-turner.  Perfect for your Greek island holiday.  I think it’s still in hardback but perhaps on audio, or when it comes out in paperback, this is a must.  I’ve done a full review here.

More New Releases:

We’ve read some fantastic new books on the podcast, including The Shepherd’s Hut and Circe – check out our top five here.

Now it’s time to pack.  What are you reading on your next holiday?

Our ‘Books On The Go‘ podcast is live!  Annie, Amanda and I read and discuss a book a week.  Some good, some … interesting … and some real gems. Here are our top 5 so far:

The Shepherd’s Hut by Tim Winton

Tim Winton has surpassed himself: this stunning novel grabs you from page one. You know immediately that Jaxie is tough and defiant, but his raw honesty comes through (all this in the first few pages). Winton tells a great yarn and makes you care about his characters. The writing is alive and inventive; Jaxie’s voice is authentic with colourful language and droll humour. Masterful. He manages to say, by story alone, much about boys and masculinity.

Circe by Madeline Miller

A beautiful, generous novel re-imagining the goddess Circe and the myths surrounding her. Madeline Miller stays true to the stories and language, but this feels modern, with much to say about contemporary politics and attitudes to women. Circe is a wonderful character: sharp-tongued, idiosyncratic and brave. We loved the scenes with Hermes and Odysseus but there are many rich details and layers to enjoy. Heart-warming and intelligent.

Ghachar Ghochar by Vivek Shanhbag

An elegantly written, spare novel about a family and the nuanced dynamics when one brother’s business becomes very successful. By observing the characters in turn, he shows the complex strings that keep a family in balance; and money’s power to corrupt. The tone is wonderfully engaging, the narrator charming, but he emerges as a passive character, trapped by lack of purpose. Much is happening between the lines.  Deft and thought-provoking.

The Passion by Jeanette Winterson

A brilliant, pithy book set in Boulogne and Venice during the Napoleonic wars. Winterson gets to the heart of being human: to play the game of life, you have to gamble your “valuable and fabulous thing” – your heart. Henri is Napoleon’s chicken chef; Villanelle falls in love with a woman at a Venice casino. Strong, poetic writing. Villanelle is original and spirited, Henri touching and the Bonapartes described with fairness and wit.

Winter by Ali Smith

Sophia waits in Cornwall for her son Arthur to join her for Christmas. Taking A Christmas Carol as a jumping off point and rejoicing in Shakespearean-like comic dialogue, Ali Smith is an enchanting story-teller. She shows the absurdity of human behaviour, the power of resistance and the beauty of art and nature. Characters are real, the humour dry and the prose is masterful, light, richly layered, but not showy. We loved this.

There are some that almost made this list, which I’ll sneak into my next post on holiday reads. 😉

We’d love you to read along with us!  Up next:

Less by Andrew Sean Greer

Wise Children by Angela Carter

News Of The World by Paulette Jiles

Crudo by Olivia Laing

What are your favourite books of 2018 so far?

Homer’s The Odyssey has long been on my list of ‘Classics to read’ (as opposed to my list of ‘Classics I will not read’ – hello and goodbye, Moby Dick).  It’s the original quest, an epic story and referenced everywhere.  I worried it would be an ancient, dry text, but the new translation by Emily Wilson is wonderful!

Wilson has stayed faithful to the story and used the same form as Homer.  The language is lively and direct.  The rhythm takes you back to Homer’s time, but the pared back style feels contemporary.

I love the idea of the story being re-told, as it would have been done many times as an epic poem shared orally, before it was first written down.

Odysseus is on a quest to return home to Ithaca and his wife Penelope.  He endures many setbacks:  the Trojan war, battles with Cyclops, the loss of most of his men, and then, before he can reunite with Penelope, he must defeat the suitors who have vied to marry her in his absence.  His uses his strength and wits, but the gods and goddesses also play a role.  Some, such as Athena, help him.  Others, like Poseidon, make his journey difficult.  Hermes the messenger is a great, sassy character.

It’s a terrific story – full of drama, characters who are larger than life, gods who behave like bickering families and mortals who must be godlike in their heroism to succeed.  I actually did not know how it ended until I read the book, so I found I kept turning the page to find out what happened next.  The translation is so clear and has great energy.

Here is Menelaus speaking to Telemachus (Odysseus’s son) and Pisistratus:

“No mortal, my dear boys, can rival Zeus.

His halls and home and property are deathless.”

And telling them of his suffering:

“I cannot eat or sleep, since no one labored

like him – Odysseus.  His destiny

was suffering, and mine the endless pain

of missing him. …”

Heroism is a key theme.  Odysseus  was victorious at Troy, but he relies on his wits more than brute strength to overcome the challenges he faces on his journey.  He is capable of violence and shows arrogance in the scene with Cyclops (to his cost).  But he shows great perseverance and keeps his head.  Penelope is loyal (refusing the suitors’ advances, waiting for Odysseus) and intelligent.

Fate is another theme – the gods are powerful, although they can’t dictate everything that happens: for example, Odysseus might be ‘fated’ to survive the journey so Poseidon cannot kill him.  The mortals like Odysseus can control their fate to some extent, but the gods hold the reins.  They seem to co-exist.  The mortals live on the basis that some things are pre-destined or ‘fated’, but still they strive to do what they want.

I also liked the sense of balance and ‘good life’ that the characters showed (I’m sure there is a Greek word for this).  They might be fighting battles, wreaking revenge, sailing the high seas, but they also show hospitality, always stopping to eat bread, olives and meat, drink wine, take baths and share stories.

Here is Circe addressing Odysseus:

“I know you and your men have suffered greatly,

out on the fish-filled sea, and on dry land

from hostile men.  But it is time to eat

and drink some wine. …”

It give you a good idea of how the Greeks lived in ancient times, but the story has universal themes – which explains its longevity.  We still show hospitality to visitors, persevere in the face of struggle and have a capacity for both friendship and war.

These are amplified in The Odyssey (in a way that we have come to associate with Greek ‘drama’) – it does now shy away from love, hate or revenge in extreme forms.  This makes it memorable.

I highly recommend it.  Now I just need to sail to a Greek island!